People around me are either in love or teetering on the outer rim of it. I am mildly annoyed for reasons you can probably guess.

In A World Frozen Over/With Over-Exposure/Let's Talk It Over/Let's Go Out And Paint The Town!

The news is a few days late, but Soul Asylum bassist Karl Mueller dead at 41 from throat cancer. It's a shame that they'll probably only be remembered for "Runaway Train" and Dave Pirner's romance with Winona Ryder, because the rest of Grave Dancers Union was really good. "Somebody To Shove" and "Misery" for me is instant time travel.

Just came back from this year's Toy Convention, which is as crowded as ever, and not by little kids. Batman, Star Wars and NBA figures well-represented as always. Of course I had no business being there, just wanted to be among people who at least on the surface are less mature than I am.

Caught my eye: the original Kenner Ghostbusters Ecto-1, a WildC.A.T.S. Grifter action figure, the Burton Batmobile, McFarlane football, baseball and hockey figures, small Japanese toys, and of course, girls in costumes. And for once, I can take pictures without the mean "you stalker!" looks.

I recognized some people who were also at Fete the week before. Music and toys. The kids are alright.

Last night I was a seventh wheel. Seventh! Which doesn't really mean anything but I did feel a little bit out of place. I really need to put my life in order. Maybe I can start by spending less time looking at toys.

Bullet-Point Blogging/Questions

The term taken from Jowena, defined as "the lowest form of blogging".

First things first: DETROIT! Ano ba yan?!? So much for the symmetry between this team and the original Bad Boys. Now the Big Dog and Nazr Mohammed have championship rings. How could you let this happen?!?

Good thing I'm too broke to have money on that game.

Whatever happened to the West Coast Avengers? And can you name all of them? I get through Hawkeye and Vision before I draw blanks.

I'm in love with half the cast of Veronica Mars (the female half).

I'm in love with a quarter of the cast of QPids (the prettier half of the female half).

Why does a train run straight into Wayne Tower?

My friends want to surf (the other, much cooler kind) this weekend and I'm broke. You know how broke I am? I think I haven't had overpriced coffee in two weeks. Har har.

Where have all the good jobs gone?

I want to buy all the albums of all the artists I saw at Fete. I can't go on listening to Paramita over Soundclick.

More people check my Flickr account than my DeviantArt account. Does that mean I'm a better photographer than visual artist? No no no no! Nothing against photographers but half of those who claim they are are really just frustrated painters. There's a difference between capturing nature's expression and expressing your nature. Hmmm that's good. Maybe I should write that down.

Consider The Well Well-Poisoned

The hard thing about having a 'client' whose approval of your work comes and goes so arbitrarily is that you never figure out whether you're on the right track or not. If I had my way I'd obviously go with something that mixes a little bit of humor and insight and good design, and something that works on so many levels aside from the level readily seen. You'd think clients would stand up from their chairs and shout 'Eureka!' and 'By george, you've got it!' but that's hardly ever the case. I have no idea what they want and why they want what they want and why they change their minds about what they want so...randomly.

One annoying side-effect of this is that in the hope that they find 1 good, lasting design in every 20 that I make, I try to come up with as many as I can. And this overdraws the creativity well and well, when its spent re-filling it up doesn't come easy. It's usually a painful process that takes weeks at a time, wandering aimlessly and waiting for inspiration, because it's usually in the last place you look.

Plus, I get cranky. Part of it is obviously the lack of approval, but some of it is due to the feeling that your head is caving in 'coz everything that was inside of it is now on paper or on your computer. And when there's that vacuum I can't think straight, and when I can't think straight I get pissed. And when I get pissed, well, "your best bet is to stay away motherfucker."

Less angry post next. Let's hope.

With One Headlight

The Fete Post.

Somehow enjoyed last year's rained-out event more, but for all the wrong reasons. Last Saturday I did get to see a host of performers I wouldn't normally go see, and I was pleasantly surprised.. It was hard to move from stage to stage though 'coz of the immense human traffic and the distance between the Podium and Racks El Pueblo. I know it doesn't seem so far but if you're wading through scores of kids wearing swastikas and The Deftones then I'd rather just stay put near the Alternative stage and wait for Narda.

But it's hard being alone (for the most part) at these things. And not that I've been up there a whole lot, but I miss being in a band and up on stage. I'm envious.

I haven't been posting a whole lot mainly because there hasn't been a lot to post about. All I've been doing is drawing and watching TV and whatnot. Except for the 2 hours spent watching Batman Begins.

Somehow I liked the Tim Burton realization more, even if I haven't seen it for a while. Michael Keaton still doesn't look like a Bruce Wayne but I think the costume was more...iconic in the earlier movie. And I'm not really a fan of a big bulky Batmobile.

Then again I don't read Batman regularly as I've always been a Marvel collector. Which beggars the question: favorite comic book movie of all time? I'm a bit biased but I'd have to say the X-Men movies. They're characters I know well and somehow I can't think of any better scene from a comic-book movie than Nightcrawler infiltrating the White House and how Magneto escapes from the ceramic prison. Spiderman is OK but i didn't like the Green Goblin and I don't like the ending of the second one.

To cap it all off...

During Fete I parked my car at the Shangri-la Edsa parking because it's a flat rate for the whole afternoon. Although I'm pretty sure the overnight rate takes effect after 3 AM, I was still a bit wary of paying the P200 charge so I made sure I'd be back before 2 AM. When I got back to the car some idiot who must have tried to park beside me had broken my front left turning light and scratched the left side near my tire. And my freaking turning light was on the ground in a dozen broken pieces. Of course, no note and no witnesses. At least I didn't pay for overnight parking.

Eventually, Even Stars Burn Out

starfighter
Originally uploaded by ray-gun.

Unemployed?

Broke?

Interested in purchasing a Jedi Starfighter?

Sold!

Anakin Skywalker with "Light-Saber Attack!" action gets to patrol the star system in his spankin' new Starfighter. Yes, now I have more crap to try to fit in my room. And I don't care. It's hot, regardless.

So instead of being proactive and checking out my Jobs folder and making a business plan and all that being 26 entails..., I've been preoccupied all day.

Less fanboy post next. Let's hope.

Have You Any Dreams You'd Like To Sell?

Been out of it since I found out that the deal to work for 3 months fell through. I realized it was like getting fired before I even got hired, which has to be a new low. What a funk.

I managed to get a glimpse of Queer Eye's Thom Felicia at the Alabang Town Center yesterday. And before this calls up questions about my sexual orientation, please note that while there I looked at some power tools and browsed through Playboy at the bookstore. Not that there's anything wrong with paying the southbound toll just to see an interior design specialist crack gay jokes.

And while we were there my mom bought me new shoes. Because in this family, new shoes is love. I will probably always be a Northerner, but I love the ATC. Everything they sell there I can probably buy in Ortigas or Makati and I wouldn't have to pay the toll, but still, we ended up with loads and loads of purchases. Must be the southern air.

Then I was at a baby shower last night. I'm not really keen on baby stuff, but it's bittersweet to be around people who are on their way to 'happy ever after'. I'm still having trouble with 'once upon a time'.

Standing On Broken Dreams

And another employment opportunity goes bust.

God, I'm so depressed. This was the one I was counting on and now, nothing. You know like when they say whenever a door closes, a window opens? I don't want to go through no damn windows!

Hayyyy.

I'm trying to squint so that maybe I can find some bright side, but to no avail. I'm broke, my business partner is AWOL, and so much stuff is coming up in the near future that requires me to be at my best, both emotionally and financially.

The journey continues.

I honestly do not know what I'm supposed to do now. Ok, I'm lying. I have some idea. But not in any way that makes me feel better.

That stupid 7 Habits book will tell me to be proactive. That this is outside my Circle of Influence. Right. I'd flush it down the toilet, but they proved on Late Night that it can't be done.

In the spirit of futile activities, let's rewind to when it all came apart. It probably dates much farther than anyone realizes/There are no easy answers. It's like the debate on when rock and roll died: Some say it's when Lennon was shot. Or Cobain. Some say it's early February 1959. Some say it's as early as when Elvis signed on to a major label. Likewise, the start of the downward spiral isn't as simple as November 2004. Sometimes I think it's a few years back when I signed on to my first IT company. Sometimes I think it's when I shifted from BS Psychology to M.E. before the schoolyear started. Many times I think it was on a rainy September morning.

And rewinding's the easy part. I try fast-forwarding. I see nothing.

God, I can actually hear my spirit breaking.

The Score:

Call center: 8, Jon Ray: 0.

I swear the next time I might just decline altogether.

Speaking of scores, I predict that Game 1 between the Spurs and the Pistons will tally in the low 40's. In overtime. I am intrigued at how the Pistons are going to handle Ginobli, though. Prince and Co should put him on his back in the first 30 seconds.

I want to take overpriced coffee but I promised myself I'd save up.

I will also promise to post something interesting. When it happens. Whenever that is.

Rumble, Eject, Operation, Destruction: A Nineteen-Year-Old Review

Stuck at home on a Saturday. This time I have no excuse.

The company ********** and I are playing this game. A game where, they schedule me for an interview, then, I show up and show enough potential to keep them interested, but not so much as to get me hired. Round 8 is on Monday.

I've borrowed (read:downloaded) the 1986 critically-acclaimed film Transformers: The Movie. It's set in 2005. Yes, you heard right. So they got more than a few things wrong:

1. Soundwave still uses cassettes.
2. Glam rock is still 'in'.
3. None of our cars look like Hot Rod or Kup. We're lucky if we get to drive Cliffjumper.

And again, as a plot device they kill off a number of good guys (and bad, let's not forget Starscream) way too easily. Prowl gets hit once and goes down in flames. Starscream practically dissolves. Tough-talking Ironhide? In X-Men terms: "Practically keeled over before I had a chance to bruise him." Then again, he's a flimsy L-300. Makes sense for him to just topple over.

And you'd think in 20 years the Autobots would've figured that they're biggest problem in their little robot war is that Laserbeak gets to spy on them way too much. All they have to do is close their windows!

And Rumble and Frenzy are tougher than all of them combined. Cassette tapes rule!

This Beat Flows Right Through My Chest/She's Hot Regardless

It's another Friday stuck at home. Which I don't really mind so much coz I got home at 5 this morning. Why? Coz it's a crime to let flight attendants dance unwatched.

I really should learn how to streetdance. Those 5-second dance moves I learned from growing up in the 80's won't cut it for very long.

Someone didn't get the memo that Pier One wasn't a gay bar.

My apparel designs finally made it past my fickle business partner! Does anyone else find it ironic that I design gym wear and I haven't even stepped inside a gym? Marketing research is for sissies.

Fete in a couple of weeks! Gaiman comes to Manila! Still unemployed but there's hope! I love this time of year!

...

I've learned a phrase that sounds normal to most guys but gets more than a few girls' eyebrows raised. It's "She's Hot, Regardless."

"That girl in the corner looks hot."
"I've met her. She's a dyke."
"Oh. She's hot, regardless."

"Karel is trying too much to be Michelle Branch."
"Yeah, but she's hot regardless."

"You do realize Ultimate Survivor Ryza is barely 18."
"I know. She's hot, regardless."

Some girl actually told me that this phrase was exactly what was wrong with today's society.We debated over this for a while. But it really doesn't matter if she's right or wrong. She's hot, regardless.