Due to a severe case of OCD, this morning I used the master reset function on my T39. In essence, I've deleted my entire phone book and all my unsaved-on-SIM messages. Fortunately, since I don't have many friends, encoding all the numbers took all of an hour. But I do feel bad about all those lost messages though. I have a problem with moving on.
I also realize I've deleted my custom-made Cliffs Of Dover ring tone. Somewhere in the distance I hear my housemates clapping.
Also stemming from this current bout with OCD is the fact that I've re-strung my guitar without having it tweaked by a professional guitar tech. I've been putting it off because I didn't have the cash to pay the tech fee and I was down to my last set of strings. But I was itching to play the starting riff to Desperately Wanting. An acoustic guitar just doesn't do it for me.
The title isn't a line from Desperately Wanting, it's from Soon. Wala lang, I thought it was cute.
I have way too much time on my hands.
at some point, it's all plan B
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Synergize
Watched In Good Company today, for a healthy dose of Scarlett. Did I mention that all my expenses have to be revenue-generating?
About the movie: Successful at 26? And then not so, because of an overbearing sense of guilt and the unrequited love for a beautiful girl? Such...fiction!
Kimi blew out a tire on the final lap of the Nurburgring. Apparently when people called him the 'heir apparent to Hakkinen' they meant the good and the bad.
About the movie: Successful at 26? And then not so, because of an overbearing sense of guilt and the unrequited love for a beautiful girl? Such...fiction!
Kimi blew out a tire on the final lap of the Nurburgring. Apparently when people called him the 'heir apparent to Hakkinen' they meant the good and the bad.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
A Golden Winged Ship Is Passing My Way
What's been up? Obviously I haven't been blogging, so nothing must be up.
I should talk about the job hunt, but I don't feel like it. Coz' every time I start to talk about it here something goes wrong.
I attended a wake for an ex-officemate's husband who was involved in the Cessna crash in Baguio earlier this week. Condolences to the family. I've actually met him once, over bibingka if I'm not mistaken, one of those weird Sunday afternoons thatI found myself walking aimlessly around Makati. The couple was nice enough to invite me to sit down with them.
What I did find unnerving was that the wake itself was situated under the flight patterns. So every once in a while an airliner would pass overhead and the noise would interrupt the hushed conversations.
Taking pleasure in the details: Rain. Not much else needs to be said. Sure it inconveniences a lot of people and makes stuff wet, but to me, it's like a huge blanket that drapes over the city. And like a blanket it somehow makes one feel secure.
I should talk about the job hunt, but I don't feel like it. Coz' every time I start to talk about it here something goes wrong.
I attended a wake for an ex-officemate's husband who was involved in the Cessna crash in Baguio earlier this week. Condolences to the family. I've actually met him once, over bibingka if I'm not mistaken, one of those weird Sunday afternoons thatI found myself walking aimlessly around Makati. The couple was nice enough to invite me to sit down with them.
What I did find unnerving was that the wake itself was situated under the flight patterns. So every once in a while an airliner would pass overhead and the noise would interrupt the hushed conversations.
Taking pleasure in the details: Rain. Not much else needs to be said. Sure it inconveniences a lot of people and makes stuff wet, but to me, it's like a huge blanket that drapes over the city. And like a blanket it somehow makes one feel secure.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
The Sith Hits This Fan
Finally got around to watching Episode III. It didn't disappoint, thank God. Did anyone else feel the irresistible urge to rent a copy of the first movie? You can actually see how the Republic devolves into the sorry state it's in at the start of A New Hope.
I do have one qualm though: some Jedi are unbelievably easy to kill. In Episode I, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn take on an entire trade federation army; here a Jedi master and council member at that falls at the hands of four Storm Troopers. Four! I mean, for a warrior whose training involves being shot at while blindfolded, some of them are really easy to shoot in the back.
In fact, Palpatine goes through 3 of them in less than 30 seconds. Sith Lord or not, that's really pathetic for an elite group of warriors. God, Leia could've done better.
General Grievous is much more menacing in the animated Clone Wars. In the movie all he does is talk big and cough and run away. You know, like, uh, me.
My brother pointed out that the line "Only a Sith deal in absolutes" is hypocritical. That's funny. My brother is wicked smart.
I do have one qualm though: some Jedi are unbelievably easy to kill. In Episode I, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn take on an entire trade federation army; here a Jedi master and council member at that falls at the hands of four Storm Troopers. Four! I mean, for a warrior whose training involves being shot at while blindfolded, some of them are really easy to shoot in the back.
In fact, Palpatine goes through 3 of them in less than 30 seconds. Sith Lord or not, that's really pathetic for an elite group of warriors. God, Leia could've done better.
General Grievous is much more menacing in the animated Clone Wars. In the movie all he does is talk big and cough and run away. You know, like, uh, me.
My brother pointed out that the line "Only a Sith deal in absolutes" is hypocritical. That's funny. My brother is wicked smart.
Friday, May 20, 2005
A Face That Awakes When I Close My Eyes
It's not my day/month/year.
I blew the ********** interview. So much for this master negotiator. I went unprepared and I paid the price. I couldn't string three words together to make a coherent sentence. Heck, I'd reject myself.
Or maybe I subconsciously sabotaged my own chances. While they were explaining what the job entailed and the project that was waiting for me I could feel the face inside my skin wrinkling its subconscious forehead. I didn't really feel enthusiastic about getting the job, and while I lied and said I did, it didn't take a mindreader to figure out I was talking out of my ass.
And so it goes. Times like this I need a beer, or a really good cup of coffee and some conversation. But it's Friday afternoon and all my friends are in their mid-to-late twenties so no one is available. Even going to the mall didn't cheer me up. And I was in no mood to have a drink or coffee alone.
But maybe it's all for the best. This time last week I had three options, now I'm left with one. Fingers crossed? You bet.
And it's over. The Sonics went down fighting, at least.
Reggie Miller Retrospective: Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we? I guess I started noticing Reggie during the second Dream Team, and then when he was regarded as "the best shooting guard in the league, post-Jordan". Being a Knick fan, I rationalized that great teams belong to great rivalries, and Miller provided a competent adversary. I didn't get to watch '8 points in 18 seconds' (I was in class, I think) but I remember becoming annoyed when I read it in the paper while getting a haircut and rushing home to watch the replay. I remember just before the Knicks signed H20 and LJ, Reggie was Ewing's first choice to man the backcourt, and I was like, "Hell no!". Though the Pacers have had recent success with their current lineup, the quintessential Pacer team for me will always be Smits-Dale and Antonio Davis-Miller-Jackson.
Later...
Back to the interview. It's bothering me more than it should. It's just that I hate losing. And no, despite the fact that I should, I haven't gotten used to it.
I blew the ********** interview. So much for this master negotiator. I went unprepared and I paid the price. I couldn't string three words together to make a coherent sentence. Heck, I'd reject myself.
Or maybe I subconsciously sabotaged my own chances. While they were explaining what the job entailed and the project that was waiting for me I could feel the face inside my skin wrinkling its subconscious forehead. I didn't really feel enthusiastic about getting the job, and while I lied and said I did, it didn't take a mindreader to figure out I was talking out of my ass.
And so it goes. Times like this I need a beer, or a really good cup of coffee and some conversation. But it's Friday afternoon and all my friends are in their mid-to-late twenties so no one is available. Even going to the mall didn't cheer me up. And I was in no mood to have a drink or coffee alone.
But maybe it's all for the best. This time last week I had three options, now I'm left with one. Fingers crossed? You bet.
And it's over. The Sonics went down fighting, at least.
Reggie Miller Retrospective: Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we? I guess I started noticing Reggie during the second Dream Team, and then when he was regarded as "the best shooting guard in the league, post-Jordan". Being a Knick fan, I rationalized that great teams belong to great rivalries, and Miller provided a competent adversary. I didn't get to watch '8 points in 18 seconds' (I was in class, I think) but I remember becoming annoyed when I read it in the paper while getting a haircut and rushing home to watch the replay. I remember just before the Knicks signed H20 and LJ, Reggie was Ewing's first choice to man the backcourt, and I was like, "Hell no!". Though the Pacers have had recent success with their current lineup, the quintessential Pacer team for me will always be Smits-Dale and Antonio Davis-Miller-Jackson.
Later...
Back to the interview. It's bothering me more than it should. It's just that I hate losing. And no, despite the fact that I should, I haven't gotten used to it.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Take Your Fast Car And Keep On Driving
It doesn't take a genius to figure out I'm suffering from low self-esteem. I didn't used to mind much but...
That's it, I have just about enough money to live for a month and then it's all gone. The 'month' buffer is important because I get a salary 30 days after starting work, not on Day 1. So by Monday all expenditures must be income-generating. No buts.
And without cash I find myself less adventurous in going outside. I've been home since Saturday with art class being my only reprieve. And it's not as if there haven't been opportunities to go out; it's just that I feel guilty about having fun without having a future to look forward to.
Hmmm, and that's probably the reason why there isn't much to blog about. The wind's starting to pick up though, I can feel it. Oh wait, I'm meaning that literally. Hopefully it will reflect a change personally as well.
That's it, I have just about enough money to live for a month and then it's all gone. The 'month' buffer is important because I get a salary 30 days after starting work, not on Day 1. So by Monday all expenditures must be income-generating. No buts.
And without cash I find myself less adventurous in going outside. I've been home since Saturday with art class being my only reprieve. And it's not as if there haven't been opportunities to go out; it's just that I feel guilty about having fun without having a future to look forward to.
Hmmm, and that's probably the reason why there isn't much to blog about. The wind's starting to pick up though, I can feel it. Oh wait, I'm meaning that literally. Hopefully it will reflect a change personally as well.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Stay Inside The Lines
I don't get what's so special about You Can Negotiate Anything. It's too dated, and some of the 'theories' and 'suggestions' sound really unadaptable for today's society. Besides, the primary advocate of this book is my uncle, who has so far unable to win any sort of argument with my dad. So much for that.
I have tons of work to do for art class. I'm starting to realize I need way more practice and I really need to find out which specific 'art' I'm good at or at least I want to focus on. I suck horribly anytime color is concerned. You name it: pastels, watercolor, colored pencils. Now that I think about it I never used to color in the lines, either. My first love disappoints me...uh, again. I really wanted this to work out. So much for that.
The Sonics are faring much better than I am, at least.
There's still some stuff to talk about but I haven't really articulated everything in my head. Suffice to say, there are trials and there are good news. But I want to get through the trials first before celebrating.
I have tons of work to do for art class. I'm starting to realize I need way more practice and I really need to find out which specific 'art' I'm good at or at least I want to focus on. I suck horribly anytime color is concerned. You name it: pastels, watercolor, colored pencils. Now that I think about it I never used to color in the lines, either. My first love disappoints me...uh, again. I really wanted this to work out. So much for that.
The Sonics are faring much better than I am, at least.
There's still some stuff to talk about but I haven't really articulated everything in my head. Suffice to say, there are trials and there are good news. But I want to get through the trials first before celebrating.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
You Were Fading Into Me And I Was Gently Fading Into You
Been Friendster stalking. Apparently the term has entered mainstream use, and I'm the next one to admit to doing it.
It's not like I had a choice. Last night it would have paid off to go on a phantom gimmick only to get out of the house because it turns out I could have ended up in Malate dancing the night away, but no. I was too lazy and when I got the SMS invitation to go out it was too late. Sometimes I'm not so lucky...
Back to Friendster. Been snooping around, and ended up at the page of someone from the unimmediate past. Never mind who it is, and if you're going to guess you will have been wrong. The point is, looking at where she is now and looking at where I am, it's become clear that I'm the tragic figure in the equation. After years of keeping up a well-oiled defense mechanism, the sad truth is: it is not their loss.
Taking pleasure in the details: the Ateneo campus minutes before it starts to rain. When the sun hides behind a cloud and the wind starts to pick up. When the dried leaves fall diagonally instead of vertically. Sitting on the foyer benches and watching everyone start walking faster to get to the covered walks. God I should've brought my camera along on my jogging thing. I know everyone says it about their own schools, but is this university pretty or what?
It's not like I had a choice. Last night it would have paid off to go on a phantom gimmick only to get out of the house because it turns out I could have ended up in Malate dancing the night away, but no. I was too lazy and when I got the SMS invitation to go out it was too late. Sometimes I'm not so lucky...
Back to Friendster. Been snooping around, and ended up at the page of someone from the unimmediate past. Never mind who it is, and if you're going to guess you will have been wrong. The point is, looking at where she is now and looking at where I am, it's become clear that I'm the tragic figure in the equation. After years of keeping up a well-oiled defense mechanism, the sad truth is: it is not their loss.
Taking pleasure in the details: the Ateneo campus minutes before it starts to rain. When the sun hides behind a cloud and the wind starts to pick up. When the dried leaves fall diagonally instead of vertically. Sitting on the foyer benches and watching everyone start walking faster to get to the covered walks. God I should've brought my camera along on my jogging thing. I know everyone says it about their own schools, but is this university pretty or what?
Friday, May 13, 2005
Yes, You Can!
My uncle lent me a signed copy of Herb Cohen's You Can Negotiate Anything. Not that it can help this hopeless case, but it was recommended by the MBA class. And while I'm leafing through it the background noise is The Apprentice. Typical.
Self-help books aren't really my thing. I'm more of an epiphany person.
I have an idea for a name for a gym apparel business but it got shot down. I don't get it, 'coz it works on so many levels! And the name my business partner suggested was oh-so corny. The world isn't ready for Jon Ray The Entrepreneur.
So I'm working on Jon Ray The Corporate Slave, for now. I'm this close to signing with ******* ****** just to shut the little voices in my head up, and the headhunter who's that's been on my case this past week. It's only for a three-month stay at least, so it still buys me time and some options to test out a few scenarios.
Is there some rule that all variety shows should have an 80's-themed episode every month?
I had a dream last night that felt so freaking real. I could distinctly remember, in this dream, that I was debating whether to call my old officemate up to tell him, "Nadine Samonte is in my bedroom!" Not exactly my Starstruck girl of choice, but it'll do.
Self-help books aren't really my thing. I'm more of an epiphany person.
I have an idea for a name for a gym apparel business but it got shot down. I don't get it, 'coz it works on so many levels! And the name my business partner suggested was oh-so corny. The world isn't ready for Jon Ray The Entrepreneur.
So I'm working on Jon Ray The Corporate Slave, for now. I'm this close to signing with ******* ****** just to shut the little voices in my head up, and the headhunter who's that's been on my case this past week. It's only for a three-month stay at least, so it still buys me time and some options to test out a few scenarios.
Is there some rule that all variety shows should have an 80's-themed episode every month?
I had a dream last night that felt so freaking real. I could distinctly remember, in this dream, that I was debating whether to call my old officemate up to tell him, "Nadine Samonte is in my bedroom!" Not exactly my Starstruck girl of choice, but it'll do.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Wash My Love
Oh please let it rain today. It's so damn hot.
You know what M.Y.M.P. stands for? Make Your Momma Proud She Was Born Earlier When Acoustic Rock Was Much Much Better.
I've an employment dilemma. Three companies will potentially contact me at the same time and I'm torn about where to go, assuming I've passed for all three. Each has its own pros and cons, both long-term and short-term. Maybe I should roll a three-sided die.
Sample interview question and answer at *****:
"What are you looking for in a company?"
(Me, pausing for a moment, then, in a serious tone:) "Pedigree."
Gawd, where do I come up with this?
I do enjoy the vibe over at Emerald Ave. There's some sort of counterculture going on there that's interesting. It's like a small town's Main Street or something.
Taking pleasure in the details: Pretty girls who get prettier when they laugh. And the joke in question was Sena's Joke Of The Week:
"Anong insekto ang may paa sa ulo?"
"Anooooo?"
"Eh di kuto!"
You know what M.Y.M.P. stands for? Make Your Momma Proud She Was Born Earlier When Acoustic Rock Was Much Much Better.
I've an employment dilemma. Three companies will potentially contact me at the same time and I'm torn about where to go, assuming I've passed for all three. Each has its own pros and cons, both long-term and short-term. Maybe I should roll a three-sided die.
Sample interview question and answer at *****:
"What are you looking for in a company?"
(Me, pausing for a moment, then, in a serious tone:) "Pedigree."
Gawd, where do I come up with this?
I do enjoy the vibe over at Emerald Ave. There's some sort of counterculture going on there that's interesting. It's like a small town's Main Street or something.
Taking pleasure in the details: Pretty girls who get prettier when they laugh. And the joke in question was Sena's Joke Of The Week:
"Anong insekto ang may paa sa ulo?"
"Anooooo?"
"Eh di kuto!"
Monday, May 09, 2005
Our Lady Of Perpetual Toss And Smash!
The Week In Sports:
Spurs lead series 1-0. That's expected. Seattle is still more fun to watch.
Kimi finally gets the chequered flag again. With Alonso solidfying his lead by coming in second. Third on the podium and second in the overall driver's points? Jarno Trulli. And if Fisichella doesn't shape up and Ralf continues scoring points dare I say it Toyota is looking strong for the Constructor's Championship. If the new rules were created to level the playing field, it sure seems like its working.
I'm being more than mean when I say that I enjoy watching a dejected Tracy McGrady, after losing Game 7 to Dallas, bitching about how some good players never get a championship. But never getting to the second round? That's for bad players who think they're all that. And Yao? I'm sorry but he's turning out to be a real lemon. And it doesn't help that his 'tutor' in Houston in Patrick Ewing. I heart NY, but No. 33 was more hype than talent at center.
They say that coaches lose games, not players. But the Bulls' Chris Duhon comes annoyingly close to proving them wrong. Ugly heave and even uglier turnover.
Not exactly sports-related, but: I just heard Holy Mass...in our garage. Apparently, my dad's badminton partners are devout Church-goers, and somehow convinced my family to host Mass on a Monday evening. It's finally happened: badminton is now a religion.
Spurs lead series 1-0. That's expected. Seattle is still more fun to watch.
Kimi finally gets the chequered flag again. With Alonso solidfying his lead by coming in second. Third on the podium and second in the overall driver's points? Jarno Trulli. And if Fisichella doesn't shape up and Ralf continues scoring points dare I say it Toyota is looking strong for the Constructor's Championship. If the new rules were created to level the playing field, it sure seems like its working.
I'm being more than mean when I say that I enjoy watching a dejected Tracy McGrady, after losing Game 7 to Dallas, bitching about how some good players never get a championship. But never getting to the second round? That's for bad players who think they're all that. And Yao? I'm sorry but he's turning out to be a real lemon. And it doesn't help that his 'tutor' in Houston in Patrick Ewing. I heart NY, but No. 33 was more hype than talent at center.
They say that coaches lose games, not players. But the Bulls' Chris Duhon comes annoyingly close to proving them wrong. Ugly heave and even uglier turnover.
Not exactly sports-related, but: I just heard Holy Mass...in our garage. Apparently, my dad's badminton partners are devout Church-goers, and somehow convinced my family to host Mass on a Monday evening. It's finally happened: badminton is now a religion.
Checked Out All The Stores/The Ones Where She Hangs Out
Headhunters are beginning to get on my nerves.
I'm on a three-pronged fork in the road with regards to companies I applied for. Finally got an offer from one of them but I'm going to wait and see what the others are going to do. It's either no one wants me or everyone does. Weird. Why don't things just...intersect?
Of course, aside from the well-beaten fork there's another path, not so much travelled, but it's there. Go into business for myself. What that is exactly remains to (fore)seen.
I haven't bagged the job yet and I was already at the malls looking at potential yuppie purchases. Yes yes I miss it. Now back off!
I need a new scanner. And inspiration.
I'm on a three-pronged fork in the road with regards to companies I applied for. Finally got an offer from one of them but I'm going to wait and see what the others are going to do. It's either no one wants me or everyone does. Weird. Why don't things just...intersect?
Of course, aside from the well-beaten fork there's another path, not so much travelled, but it's there. Go into business for myself. What that is exactly remains to (fore)seen.
I haven't bagged the job yet and I was already at the malls looking at potential yuppie purchases. Yes yes I miss it. Now back off!
I need a new scanner. And inspiration.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Don't Walk On The Grass
Fr. Macayan passed away this morning.
I've been cursed to having been good at Math so I've never been under him as a student. And of course at the time it felt great. But here's the thing about the Ateneo education: it's better if it's hard. If you have to fight for it. Because then you learn all the stuff that doesn't seem like a big deal at the time. I've never had to read Strunk and White to remedy my writing (and it shows). Never had to battle with postulates and theorems until I got to MA121 in college. I've dozed through Socrates without giving it a second thought.
That's how I ended up here: breezing through. Now the battleground is real, and the enemies smarter and more vicious. And you know what it feels like? As if the grass was stepping on you.
I've been cursed to having been good at Math so I've never been under him as a student. And of course at the time it felt great. But here's the thing about the Ateneo education: it's better if it's hard. If you have to fight for it. Because then you learn all the stuff that doesn't seem like a big deal at the time. I've never had to read Strunk and White to remedy my writing (and it shows). Never had to battle with postulates and theorems until I got to MA121 in college. I've dozed through Socrates without giving it a second thought.
That's how I ended up here: breezing through. Now the battleground is real, and the enemies smarter and more vicious. And you know what it feels like? As if the grass was stepping on you.
Mindoro Sling
puerto galera 02
Originally uploaded by ray-gun.
Funny how I can't think of anything to say. Sure, it was fun getting away and all, but 'getting away' also postulates 'coming back' and I guess I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to come back. Come back to what exactly, I don't know. And I'm dying to find out what that is.
I'm not a fan of long boat rides. I used to get motion sickness a lot when I was a kid, and some of that came flooding back on the boat trips. I have stopped throwing up, though. I guess I like to be in control of where I stand. Ooh, deep.
I have a couple of interviews lined up for the week. And ********* called again, apologizing for not calling me back. They want to talk, again. In the event that everything goes right I don't know how I'm going to decide where to go. See, even if things go well they don't. This is what I get for not having a navigational compass in life.
I'm supposed to be someplace right now, but it's too damn hot and I'm too damn tired and I can't find anyone to go with.
Looking at all the bodies on the beach I've come to a conclusion: I will need to hit the gym. It's either that or Belo.
Maroon 5 is surprisingly still hip in Mindoro. Must be the time difference.
More later, if I feel like it.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
The Four Right Chords Can Make Me Cry
Sonics advance! Yay! Next opponent will likely be the Spurs. Yikes.
I had a pre-interview before the interview proper. Weird. But at least the 'technical' interview wasn't really that technical, and I guess the 4-person panel was just for show. Somedays I just get lucky. Good thing they didn't power trip on me.
And less than an hour after that I received 2 calls from people/companies I never thought I'd hear from again. So four job-application-related events in succession. Why do these things happen in bunches?
Has anyone seen this?
My brother bought me a new bottle of sunblock. Thank God. So it's off to the beach tomorrow, wherever that may be. There isn't a specific plan, really. Annoyingly, there's actually some stuff that's come up recently that requires me to be in the city (because life's like that) but the need to get away is much, much greater.
Taking pleasure in the details: I love driving in the early late-afternoons. You know, while the rest of the city is pretending to work and watching the clock strike 4:30 thinking there's still an hour to go and the sun's starting to set...and you're already on the road, going at (relatively) high speeds listening to Third Eye Blind.
See you Sunday.
I had a pre-interview before the interview proper. Weird. But at least the 'technical' interview wasn't really that technical, and I guess the 4-person panel was just for show. Somedays I just get lucky. Good thing they didn't power trip on me.
And less than an hour after that I received 2 calls from people/companies I never thought I'd hear from again. So four job-application-related events in succession. Why do these things happen in bunches?
Has anyone seen this?
My brother bought me a new bottle of sunblock. Thank God. So it's off to the beach tomorrow, wherever that may be. There isn't a specific plan, really. Annoyingly, there's actually some stuff that's come up recently that requires me to be in the city (because life's like that) but the need to get away is much, much greater.
Taking pleasure in the details: I love driving in the early late-afternoons. You know, while the rest of the city is pretending to work and watching the clock strike 4:30 thinking there's still an hour to go and the sun's starting to set...and you're already on the road, going at (relatively) high speeds listening to Third Eye Blind.
See you Sunday.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Was halfway through writing another essay feeling sorry for myself when I got bored doing it. I'm thinking that's a good thing. And I was supposed to promise myself (and you) that I won't post again until I feel better about me and the world around me, until I realized under that rule I might never blog again. What else is this thing for, right?
I have an interview tomorrow. I don't know who the company is or what they want. A headhunter set it up. It's supposed to be like a surprise or something. Should be interesting.
There is too much TV to watch. That wouldn't be a problem if I could help it. I can't. I'm hopelessly addicted to that glowing box. If it isn't that glowing box, it's this one in front of me.
I might be off to the beach in a couple of days. For someone who's 'disastrously close to bankruptcy' I sure get out a lot.
My brother, for some reason, has my Hawaiian Tropic sunblock stashed away in his dorm in Manila, where he currently is not residing in. I have no idea why he has it or why it's stayed there. Arrrgggh. There's no beach in Manila, last I heard.
I know some people are trying to think positive when they say that being happy is a choice. I think: Those who say that happiness is a choice are already happy to begin with, and want to feel better about being happy by convincing themselves it was a matter of choice. You selfish, selfish fools. Kidding :)
Now I'm starting to realize why I don't have many friends.
I have an interview tomorrow. I don't know who the company is or what they want. A headhunter set it up. It's supposed to be like a surprise or something. Should be interesting.
There is too much TV to watch. That wouldn't be a problem if I could help it. I can't. I'm hopelessly addicted to that glowing box. If it isn't that glowing box, it's this one in front of me.
I might be off to the beach in a couple of days. For someone who's 'disastrously close to bankruptcy' I sure get out a lot.
My brother, for some reason, has my Hawaiian Tropic sunblock stashed away in his dorm in Manila, where he currently is not residing in. I have no idea why he has it or why it's stayed there. Arrrgggh. There's no beach in Manila, last I heard.
I know some people are trying to think positive when they say that being happy is a choice. I think: Those who say that happiness is a choice are already happy to begin with, and want to feel better about being happy by convincing themselves it was a matter of choice. You selfish, selfish fools. Kidding :)
Now I'm starting to realize why I don't have many friends.
Monday, May 02, 2005
One Chance/One Shot/That's All/Anybody Ever Got
So technically Labor Day was yesterday, so this post is a bit late. But I'm reminded:
Before the brouhaha of wage hikes and rallies had meant anything to me, May 1 only meant one thing: that stupid Hat Party at CCF nine years ago.
I don't remember a lot of it, in fact I don't even remember if I had brought a hat or not. But I do remember it being very, very painful. It hurt so much, in fact, that instead of hanging around I just crossed over to Megamall and played NBA Jam with GG in the arcades. Used Stockton and Malone, I'm pretty certain.
This is how I remember things now, in little details and an idea of how it felt like. I used to think events had a definite connectedness with each other a la Hugo, and sometimes I still do, but no longer to the extent where everything decides everything else. For the most part this is what's left: a detail here and there. T-shirt worn. What was playing on the radio. Where I ate. But that's it; no prologue - buildup - climax - epilogue. Either there really is no plan, or I'm getting less and less capable of noticing whether there's a plan or not. Neither case is appealing.
(As much as possible, I try to use a line from a song as a title for a post. The more obscure, the better. Can anyone guess where the line comes from? Hint: Labor)
Before the brouhaha of wage hikes and rallies had meant anything to me, May 1 only meant one thing: that stupid Hat Party at CCF nine years ago.
I don't remember a lot of it, in fact I don't even remember if I had brought a hat or not. But I do remember it being very, very painful. It hurt so much, in fact, that instead of hanging around I just crossed over to Megamall and played NBA Jam with GG in the arcades. Used Stockton and Malone, I'm pretty certain.
This is how I remember things now, in little details and an idea of how it felt like. I used to think events had a definite connectedness with each other a la Hugo, and sometimes I still do, but no longer to the extent where everything decides everything else. For the most part this is what's left: a detail here and there. T-shirt worn. What was playing on the radio. Where I ate. But that's it; no prologue - buildup - climax - epilogue. Either there really is no plan, or I'm getting less and less capable of noticing whether there's a plan or not. Neither case is appealing.
(As much as possible, I try to use a line from a song as a title for a post. The more obscure, the better. Can anyone guess where the line comes from? Hint: Labor)
Sunday, May 01, 2005
This Too Shall Pass
Fully Booked is having a sale and I'm Fully Broke. Haha thought up that one by myself...maybe I shouldn't have revealed that. So many things I want to get, so little everything else. Scarlett Johansson is on the cover of Esquire, and that same issue has a behind-the-scenes look at Hitchhiker's Guide, so I'm assuming there's a bit of Zooey Deschanel in there as well. Two-in-one, whaddyaknow? What a time to be disastrously close to bankruptcy.
I'm still living at home, by the way. I'm obviously not going anywhere. I've decided to pay a little more attention to my "art", just to keep my mind off things. And hopefully when I look up from the canvas/sketch pad things will begin to look, uh, brighter.
This post was going to be a bit longer, but I decided against it. Didn't want to piss any more people than I already have and I'm running out of friends to talk to as it is. Zip! (Makes zipper-closing motion across my lips.)
I'm still living at home, by the way. I'm obviously not going anywhere. I've decided to pay a little more attention to my "art", just to keep my mind off things. And hopefully when I look up from the canvas/sketch pad things will begin to look, uh, brighter.
This post was going to be a bit longer, but I decided against it. Didn't want to piss any more people than I already have and I'm running out of friends to talk to as it is. Zip! (Makes zipper-closing motion across my lips.)
Make Like A Tree
I have an idea. I'll simply get up and leave. Move.
Just thought about it today, but it's probably been brewing for a long time now. I'll move to a place where no one knows me, start from scratch and reinvent myself. Yeah, it's going back to zero, but I don't think I'm that far from zero anyway. I'm starting to think this is what I need. Take what's left of my savings account, my favorite shirts and pants and accessories, a sketch pad and a pen. (The guitar will have to come later, I'm afraid. Too heavy.) Get a simple job that doesn't involve a lot of sucking up and lying and compromise, and no one will berate me for it. Live where there's a park nearby where I can jog all afternoon. Then maybe, in a place where no one's knows me, I'll have no opportunity to disappoint, have a real excuse why I'm not out enjoying myself.
A city in a foreign country, maybe? Paris? Tokyo? New York? Rio? Cebu's much too close.
Just thought about it today, but it's probably been brewing for a long time now. I'll move to a place where no one knows me, start from scratch and reinvent myself. Yeah, it's going back to zero, but I don't think I'm that far from zero anyway. I'm starting to think this is what I need. Take what's left of my savings account, my favorite shirts and pants and accessories, a sketch pad and a pen. (The guitar will have to come later, I'm afraid. Too heavy.) Get a simple job that doesn't involve a lot of sucking up and lying and compromise, and no one will berate me for it. Live where there's a park nearby where I can jog all afternoon. Then maybe, in a place where no one's knows me, I'll have no opportunity to disappoint, have a real excuse why I'm not out enjoying myself.
A city in a foreign country, maybe? Paris? Tokyo? New York? Rio? Cebu's much too close.
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