Greatest Hits 2004

More lists:

I honestly do not remember much of 2004. Not that nothing happened, in fact, it's been a rather interesting year. It's just that it feels like it just blew by me! Maybe a little retrospective is in order.

The Best Of 2004

1. Europe - This is the year I first slept in another time zone (3 time zones, in fact). The experiences in those 2 weeks in May deserve a blog post of its won, so we'll get to this later, with pictures.
2. Utah - 2 weeks after flying home from Paris I was ordered to go to Salt Lake City on business. While the Utah experience definitely falls under "worst-of" for the year, just in its magnitude I'm required to put it here: My first time in the United States. Sure it's in the midwest, but it's free(?/everything has a price) and it will have to do.
3. Blind dates - I went on a couple of blind dates last February, within days of each other. Nothing happened except meet a few new people, so why put it here? Because it's so unlike me to go out on these things that it feels like a damn success.
4. Meeting New Friends and Hanging Out with Old Ones - The reason why leaving my job was such a hard decision to make.
5. Fete de la Musique - Sure it rained. Sure I didn't get to see much. But it falls between my European trip and my US trip, so between bouts of loneliness I will always see it as "home".
6. Krispy Kreme donuts. And Ben & Jerry's.

The Worst Of 2004

1. Resignation - 'Nuff said.
2. Utah - Realized what being alone really meant. My only comfort was a white and yellow widget called "Yahoo Messenger". In my 2nd day I got sick and had to live off Pizza Hut and Advil. Then, 3 weeks of ambiguity concerning my job role. Then, days of conjuring up a defense for doing what I thought was right. Flight attendant on Cathay Pacific SF-HK was cute, though.
3. IRIS - The months following my return; never have I wanted to be out of a situation so much. Well, since 1995. And 1997. And 2003.
4. Getting ridiculously drunk that would have shamed a teenager. Twice.

Date to remember for 2004: October 1. Handing out my resignation letter and conveniently, the first day of Oktoberfest.

High Fidelity/You Should Have Got To Me Earlier!

Just bought and currently reading High Fidelity. I remember buying this as a gift for a friend of mine (for a lot cheaper, I recall) and reading the first few pages and loving it. I loved the movie as well.

But it doesn't speak to me as much as it did when I first saw it. It's still funny and mind-reading as hell, but I guess I'm not really in that state anymore. I'm done with my personal top 5 (fine, top 3), if anything I'm looking forward to whatever's in store for me next. No crises, no getting wasted (ok, there's a little bit of that, but for different reasons), no nothing. I'm freaking fine. And I'm not used to it. (At this point, iTunes starts playing 'Everything Falls Apart'. Hmmmm)

But that's not saying I'm not smitten at the moment. There's always that.

And since we're on High Fidelity, notice how I'm a fan of enumeration? What better way to express this fanaticism than with this year's New Year's Resolutions.

1. Lose the weight I gained on this sabbatical, and lose the beer gut.
2. Wake up earlier (well, this will happen eventually. Just needed an easy one)
3. Enjoy my work, whatever that will turn out to be.
4. Make more friends, and look up the ones I've lost.
5. Go to Australia. (Or at least, save enough money such that a trip to NY or a revisit to Paris doesn't seem like such an impossibility.)
6. Learn to skateboard.
7. Get out of my comfort zone once in a while. Actually managed to do this this year, and I have to admit, it was fun.
8. Be more forthcoming.
9. Be nicer. Hate responsibly.
10. Finish what I started.

Because of the news blackout (the PS2 was playing non-stop when we were in Tagaytay), we only heard about the tsunami over SMS. And while taking nothing away from what happened to Indonesia/Sri Lanka/India, can anyone shake the feeling that we as a country got lucky? We're an archipelago in the middle of the ocean, for God's sake. Prayers go out to the victims and their families.

And something that didn't come as a surprise to anyone: NBC Nightly News had an article about the possibility of something like that happening in the United States. I understand the need to reassure the American population, but maybe that should come later, after we've buried our dead.

Sweet Baby Jesus!

Thing did pick up a bit. And about time, too. See? I can spot a good time when I have one.

Where to start? The four of us had three and a half bottles of wine and slept when the sun came up. Highlights of and resulting from fermented-grape-induced conversation:

1. One of the best gifts we get for Christmas: the gift of hindsight.
2. My friends' procrastinations will stop, at least for a while. Thank God! Now we can go about doing more interesting stuff.
3. What wastes more time than playing videogames? Watching someone else play videogames.
4. I'm sure there were a lot more goings on in terms of conversation, but it's either I can't remember them or can't say them out loud.

Oh, before going up the to Tagaytay we had a dinner/gift-exchanging stop at ATC. And an important lesson: if you're ever super-hungry and the girls are late, keep this in mind: Perfection does not come quick. :)

6 A.M./Day After Christmas

Happy Boxing day everyone!

As promised, an inventory of Christmas presents received:

1. A keychain
2. The Sports Art of Bart Forbes. Interesting.
3. Less Than Zero OST. I've never seen Less Than Zero, but it does have Poison's version of Rock And Roll All Nite. Can't get classier than that.

That's about it. I told you it was good for a few laughs. I did haul in enough cash to get an iSkin, so it's off to Apple Center at the next available moment.

Some good news: The shirts I got the kids around the house fit! That's news because I'm horrible at estimating dress size. And I figured out how to instantiate Flash movie clips at runtime (geek!), which will come in handy in case I need to instantiate Flash movie clips at runtime.

Can you tell Christmas was rather boring this year? But I'm off to Tagaytay tonight, let's see if things pick up.

And To All A Good Night!

Lesson to all parents: Take care of your kids, and keep them away from bad influences. Today I caught my little cousin air-strumming the chords to "Di Ko Kayang Tanggapin" by April Boy while our neighbor a few doors down was singing along to the videoke.

And as with the tradition, he needed my help assembling this year's toy gift. Years ago it were those Bomber Man and Megaman toys. This year it's Zoids. Since when did assembling Zoids get to be such hard work? It took me a couple of hours to get through it all. Not that it wasn't fun; it was a blast! Ah, to be 18 again. Hahahaha! Merry Christmas!

I'm listening to the radio right now, and has anyone noticed how great pinoy rock music has gotten?

Early new year's resolution

Two years ago I woke up early on a day like today and I checked my phone's messages. I had about a dozen missed calls and a couple of texts with very bad news...

That was supposed to be the start of a very serious post but I later decided against it. Not that I don't think about it anymore or it means less now than it did yesterday but I realize that enough talk has been made about it and writing about it is (as of now) no longer necessary. And it's way to close to Christmas to be this serious. Forgive me if I fast forward to the conclusion:

The father-and-son relationship is a dynamic unto itself; there's really nothing like it, and for good reason, because these things can't be replaced. I know I haven't done my best in that department and have shown most of the time that I don't care about anyone, or anything. But I do, and I promised somewhere earlier in this blog about change. I love you Mom and Dad, and while I bet you'll never be techie enough to find this, tomorrow is Christmas and what better day to start saying that out loud more often.

Damn, that was way too serious than I intended. Make way for the mundane again soon, like an inventory of Christmas gifts received. That's always good for laughs.

Goodbye Requisite Caramel Sundae Dessert

Sundaes at McDonald's now cost P25. Nuts. Just had to get that out of the way before a serious post.

All crushed out on the All-England Club

I decided last night that I needed to be someplace at 8 to collect Christmas presents I reserved (for others!) and I set the alarm clock and my cellphone for 7 AM. To their credit, they did their job and woke me up; to my discredit I could not for the life of me get up. This is my life.

I blame last night's replay of this year's Wimbledon ladies' final between Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams (the one where Sharapova kneels in the end in disbelief). I'm not a big Williams sisters' fan especially when they started playing in the finals for every Grand Slam event, but I always thought Serena was a little bit better because she was more versatile. But no. I watched the live event on television while I was staying in the US and I remember being excited at the upset. Wala lang. Sharapova is the latest in a short line of WTA crushes: Dominique Van Roost, AK, Anke Huber, Maria Sharapova. (Van Roost?!?..I like the name, ok?)

I also noticed that these women players wear earrings on court. Probably some jeweler's idea for free advertising, because the players faces are shown full-screen on every point. Nice.

If I'm not mistaken Wimbledon is something like Zone 12 in the London Underground. Is this right? Or is that a different Wimbledon place? I guess I'll just have to go back there and check :)

Try seventeen

The Timog-Edsa intersection/rotonda scheme is probably the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. Okay, that's exaggerating. But it's become such a chore to pass by that intersection because if at least one of the four "arms" of that intersection clogs up (which it often does), every one comes to a standstill. Though that's the way it's always been at least I could blame it on the street lights. Then again, maybe staying with the previous scheme would be much worse, I don't know. I don't have to like it.

Last night was the annual barkada Christmas party, and I realize that in a way not unlike our parents, our high school classmates still look at us like we're all still 17, unless we do something drastic like get married and have kids. And even then. But I'm fortunate to have grown up with these guys, even if looking back on when we were 17 makes me feel every bit of 27. (I'm 25, but I was trying to make a point. I skipped kindergarten. Save your Promil Kid jokes for someone who cares.)

It's oh so quiet

I have a confession. 5 days 'til Christmas and I'm still not imbued with the Christmas spirit. I guess it's not the same if Christmas comes to you through the (boob) tube and not through going out with friends and family...

Argh, such downers! Someone cheer me up quick! I'm serious, take me out, I'm portable!

Part of the problem is the Christmas crowds at the malls. I was out last Friday doing Christmas shopping with a couple of friends and we decided to go home using the last MRT train and it was still full! I decided not to bring a car because it was a payday, a Friday, on the last weekend before Christmas and I was not in the mood to be stuck alone in the car with a broken radio, either coming or going. Last year I could go out shopping and hang out in malls every day of the week after work, and now of course there's no work to speak of, so I end up stuck at home having to actually plan going out. Oh, the irony.

All this adds up to having to fix my resume before the new year starts, and needing to know what I want in a job. At least I've learned a little Flash. Vacation's good for something.

Three Chords And The Truth, And Bling

Half-done with my Christmas shopping it hits me. I can easily answer the question what do the people in my Christmas list like, but when asked what do they want, or what do they need, I am hard-pressed for answers. If I were to ask myself those questions I can give each one at least 20 different valid answers, but the wants and needs of my friends and family I have no idea. It's telling. I'll do better next time in listening and understanding, I promise.

As for the title:

I appreciate the diversity of music and musical tastes. Honestly. But if you're gonna start a band, and a band that will play live, please make sure that the music comes first and not the freaking act. Some acts simply bank on the familiarity of the audience with the cover songs (the prevalent ones being hip-hop and r&b, not exactly the type of songs written for an acoustic guitar and a "k-hon" (ugh)), and then dress up in bling to complete the rap-star illusion. Please. I'm a fan of stripped-down music, but only to the extent that the stripping down reveals the truth beneath the layers of sound. Acoustic hip-hop is the end of all music. 1001 Songhits does not a playlist make.

What are your dreams? It's not what you think

Last night I was cajoled into attending an MLM introduction seminar. No explanation required.

I've nothing against people who join multi-level marketing. It's just MLM and skeptical introverts like myself do not mix. We don't even belong in the same coffee shop/pizza place/function room. I guess I'm still a little bit of old-school when it comes to business. Old-school as in medieval Roman-Catholic-Church-commissioned-work times. Unless Adam Smith makes a mention of it it's all gypsy black magic to me. I did end up joining one of these once, that was a long time ago, and lazy as I am nothing came of it except free coffee. Someone should slap my 'upline' with an Invisible Hand.

Cray-Pas II

Another art session, another oil-pastel disaster. Despite what everyone says about my work being decent, I hate it, and I hate the way it's done. Me working with cray-pas is like building a computer program and fixing its bugs at the same time. You're correcting mistakes along the way and everything ends up so messy as a result. Sort of like life. There's a three-way analogy for you. I'd post a picture, but I don't like to be reminded everytime I open this blog.

Another art session, another missed opportunity to get to know my classmate (singular, coz the rest are bored housewives). Two months of not working and I've completely forgotten how to make *ahem* friends. Not that this is new to me.

This reminds me of a comic on Leno or Conan (It's just one or the other I guess,..Bring back Dave!). "I like women, but I'm not a good closer, so I end up with women friends." Hahaha. So funny coz it's true.

Event-filled weekend. By MY standards

An entire weekend went by, and while I can't complain coz I've been out of the house for most of the weekend I find very little to write about. As in, no big satori moments. Here are the notables:

1. An amazing percentage of the text messages that I've sent over the weekend (and today) apparently did not merit a reply, even if they specifically asked for answers. What the hell is going on? Do my messages have bad breath? Is there a left-my-cell-at-home epidemic going around? I don't know. Them telephones they work both ways.
2. I attended a wedding at 8 AM last Saturday. Yun lang. Congratulations to the newlyweds!
3. I was invited to watch a private jamming session at a bar here in QC, and I got to see some great jazz talent. My friend is right about the comment: This is where we want to be in 5 years (guitar-playing-wise).
4. Through sheer luck I ran into a couple of old friends, and we watched a movie that I've already seen. I guess this is how my gimmicks happen nowadays: through sheer luck. But it was fun, and apparently I got the better deal on Saturday nights compared to others.

I can do much more with this than I've written about, but lately I've been sleepy as hell. Hopefully the rest of this week will be more action-packed and inspiring.

Christmas Wishlist

In case Santa uses the other 364 days of the year reading blogs, here's what I want for Christmas, in no particular order:

1. iPod skin for iPod 3G
2. Griffin iTrip
3. Take my 3G iPod and replace it with an iPod Photo. If this happens, ako na bahala sa iPod skin :)
4. Apple Powerbook
5. A high-paying job in the visual arts.
6. A time machine
7. VJ Karel
8. A postcard from wherever it is all my friends went to.

But I won't be holding my breath. As of last check, I still don't have a single box of Lego Technic circa 1988.

Hmmm...I guess that's why they call it a wish list. On the opposite end, I have my Christmas list ready but I have no idea what to buy for them. Add that to the fact that I've spent way too much on my so-called sabbatical, and we've got a very thinly-spread Christmas budget. I guess the answer is clear: It's a burnt-CD Christmas for everyone!!! Kidding. Or am I?

The Tide Is High But I'm Holding On

Just learned how to post pictures. Not the easiest of tasks (HTML used to be so simple), but fun nonetheless, and adds a little bit of color to an otherwise dull blog. Below are a few pics of last November's trip.

On a totally unrelated subject, girls should stop growing up at 16. Seriously.

Why am I not in any of the Boracay pictures? Coz no one else knows how to use my camera. And obviously neither do I hahahaha.

Too lazy to get up and move the umbrella out of the way

The Philosophy of Shopping

Say you're looking to give someone a gift. Say it's not just any someone, and in effect it's shouldn't be just any gift. How do you go about searching? You go out, go window-shopping at the malls, perhaps. You have no idea what you're going to buy but you do know that it has to be perfect. Something that fits exactly right. You know that the perfect gift has to be out there, hidden just behind the display cases; in fact, you have this belief (you can't prove it, though) that you'll know it when you see it. Sometimes, *cha-ching*: you get lucky. But other times, you don't, for some reason, and you go out and buy a picture frame or gift certificates. Maybe the reason is money, maybe it's time, maybe it's the fear that you were wrong all along; that there is no perfect gift, no perfect fit, nothing that will elicit a 'Eureka!' or even a 'This is it!'.

However, the feeling that comes with getting their hands on the perfect gift, for those who've been lucky enough to know it, is priceless. And to me the same holds true for everything else: the perfect girl, the perfect job, the perfect song; it's a metaphor for the perfect life. They're hard to find, and we might just give up eventually and settle for what's in front of us. But there's always that little belief that it's out there and if you wait/search long enough, it'll happen, and when it's finally there the feeling that comes with it is amazing. And I would give anything to feel like that every day.

A lottery in reverse

Can't think of anything to post today. Essentially my day has been composed of two things: eating expired caramel popcorn and watching Joyride. Yes, the one at 4 PM, not the movie with Leelee Sobieski in it. So really nothing going on right now.

You know what it feels like? Like there was this lottery in which everybody won, except me. Now taking this analogy further the only real explanation why everybody else won was because I never bought the proverbial ticket. At which point my friend assures me that the 'ticket' is there. Which does not make me feel any better.

Expired caramel popcorn is surprisingly good.

Huh?

Nuts, I had this long post all written out and when I tried to save it as draft...*poof* it's gone. And so goes my first ever blog bug experience. And the post was so effing brilliant, I tell you. Long theories on the answers to life's questions and a monologue on commitment. Seriously. Now we're both stuck with Fantasy NBA news instead.

For reasons I still don't understand, I end up with Kevin Garnett as my starting power forward. And not a moment too soon, coz I am dead last in the league. All my players had crappy games over the weekend and today is the earliest I can sign KG up. While I believe I can get through the season without Da Kid, I'm not complaining hehehe :)

Rereading that I realize that wasn't even mildly interesting. I need to get out more.

Revelations

Ok, so sue me. I did go to the Christmas party. But my reasons were complete and utter boredom at home. Honest. And no, I did not dress up for this one. Before that I also managed to watch a band of friends of mine in Makati, just to get out of the house before 10.

Here are some things that I've learned or re-learned in the course of one evening:

1. Rock and roll will never die.
2. Part of the mystery of rock and roll is its poetry. So if people can't get what the hell you're saying something potentially very good is lost. Unless it's 1991 and you're from Aberdeen,Washington.
3. There are relationships that are irrevocably damaged, and it's all my fault. For what it's worth, I am truly sorry things turned out the way it did, and I was and am never one to make the first move to repair it.
4. There are relationships that are irrevocably damaged, and it's not all my fault. At some point I've done everything I can to get things back the way they were, but obviously that won't happen.
5. There are relationships that will never get off the ground. Something's missing, maybe? Thrust without lift is useless; lift without thrust is awkward, if not impossible. (Obviously using fixed-wing aircraft analogy. But you get the point.)
6. There are times when I feel like I belong, and other times when I feel like I don't. Sometimes in the span of a couple of hours. Except last night, I know why I don't belong.
7. There were very good arguments both for sticking with the job and for leaving it. Very, very good arguments from both sides. In stalemates like this, the status quo prevails.

Despite all this, I did have a good time and I don't know exactly why. I didn't even know I was capable of that hahaha. Maybe it was seeing old and new friends, the dancing, or the alcohol. Hmmm I guess I do know why. And amazingly, I felt even better in the morning. :)

Cray-Pas

What is up with me and oil pastels? I couldn't get used to them when I was in grade school and I can't use them now. I don't know if it's because I find it messy and out-of-control. If that's the case, then it's good luck with actual oils! I tend to just color in as hard as I can without regard for texture or direction, or the fact that there is no Undo button. Someone has to remind me that this isn't Photoshop.

I should really be fixing my resume. But everytime I get started with it, it dawns on me that I really don't want to be doing the same thing again (consulting). I mean, the environment is good and all and I learn a lot of things but consulting brings a number of incontrovertible facts to the table: unhealthy overtime, ridiculous timelines and expectations, a tendency to use compromise as a first resort, and job/industry uncertainty. (But then maybe it's the same everywhere. In which case I am royally screwed.) And after 3.5 years of working there, the question remains: What the hell does a consultant do, anyway?

Someone's always playing/Corporation games

Tomorrow will be the (former) company's Christmas party. They always have it this early because they get a 2-week break encompassing Christmas and New Year, the way everyone used to have in school. This year's theme is the 80's. It then goes without saying that I'm not going. Hahaha just kidding, but seriously all that happens at these things is that our team embarrasses itself in front of everyone with the obligatory Christmas presentation. This year I am assuming it will be more of the same, except that now it will be to the sound of Starship's "We Built This City".

Last year, the theme was Sci-Fi/Fantasy. 'Fantasy' as in "Lord Of The Rings", not 'fantasy' where you show up with twins. And these were my ideas for what costume to wear last year:

1. Scott Summers (not as Cyclops, just his alter-ego. Except that the Oakleys will cost more than the intended effect, which of course, is event organizer disdain)
2. The Invisible Man.

But of course, I was required to go as J from Men In Black as part of the presentation. An event that will never be referred to again.

This year, these are the costumes that should be considered for an 80's feel that no one else will be coming as:

1. Those costumed gang members that first beat the crap out of the Karate Kid.
2. Anyone from Poison. Bonus points for coming as Ricki Rockett and stealing your friend's date.
3. Jan Michael Vincent. Or TeenWolf (but going as the teen)
4. Either Richard Pryor or Gene Wilder. For girls, Gilda Radner. Preferably the way they looked in See No Evil, Hear No Evil or The Woman In Red.
5. Pixel Art

I guess me not going is good news for all concerned. Though seriously it's not all bad, in fact I'm going to miss it a little bit. But not so much as to get me dressed in Miami Vice-era Don Johnson and dancing to Will To Power.

It's a shame about Ray (Allen)

Question: How can a Fantasy NBA team with Ray Allen, Michael Redd and Amare Stoudemire be losing in a custom league? Answer: If you also have Jermaine O'Neal and Michael Finley on it. Stupid useless overrated talent!

But I'm rooting for Seattle, for some reason. Even if everyone is skeptical of their league-best record. Maybe it's the green and yellow with the white trim. Or the 3-point shooting. But it's good for the city and they got over their post-Payton era depression right away. I'll go back to rooting for the Knicks when their team's theme stops being "Players Isaiah Thomas Likes". I have honestly forgot what that team is about. Give me the Ewing-Oakley-Mason-Starks-Harper starting five any day. Heck I'd settle for Camby-Johnson-Sprewell-Houston-Ward.

Hmmm. Now that I think about it it's definitely it's the 3-point shooting.

California...

Someone slipped caffeine into my Iced Mocha Caramel last night and this is what kept me up all night:

• What does the O.C. stand for? Owson's Creek? I'm kidding, but I haven't seen enough of the new shows to spot the difference. All I can tell so far is that the houses look better and that there's a lot more hitting.
• You know why the kid in the MyDSL ad is acting so crazy? It's probably because he applied for DSL over a month ago and right now he's still 'off the grid'. Mine took over 4 weeks to install, and only after a bit of shouting over the phone. Memo to PLDT: If you can't handle the volume, stop advertising! You remind me of a company I used to work for...
• I've had it up to here with ads featuring ensemble casts. Smart did the right thing by using a song you can't possibly put down, but the wrong thing by having that Trias girl murder it. The San Miguel ad will produce the exact same effect with 'normal' people in it (with apologies to Parokya). The ABS-CBS ad at least tried to be different, until the part where they had everyone singing along in the end. The Globe one has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Are people looking for the next "We Are The World"? It wasn't even THAT good.
• Still kicking myself for missing the gimmick Monday night in Makati because of colds. Gimmicks are getting rare these days, fun gimmicks even rarer. Had to content myself with 2 straight episodes of CSI, which actually isn't so bad. Still the best written hour on television, alongside 24.

I think I watch too much TV.

In other news, the one piece of eye-candy at the art workshop didn't show. Nuts.

Plan B is what makes the practice of law so delicious

I'm 25 and have been unemployed for a month now. And while there's an interesting story behind THAT I'm not really in the mood to talk about it right now because I'm trying to kick the habit of pissing myself off.

Instead, what's the deal with Plan B? Before anyone begins to take that literally, let me explain: I guess there are 2 things I know for sure. One, that there's a memory of a life I know I should be having, and two, there's the life that I've ended up with instead. That's plan B. "B" doesn't stand for anything (as some people will infer) and there is no plan C, D or S, because as the description suggests, at some point, it's all plan B. This blog is a record of plan B, which really isn't a plan at all; just the bitter reminder that this is what I have and maybe, after writing a little bit about it, I'll stop feeling bad about missing out on plan A.

Btw, I'm no lawyer. I just like quoting the Practice. And obviously, the Lemonheads.

Hello. And you are?

So.

I'm not really good at introductions (and you could probably tell that from the first sentence), and I don't know why. Maybe it's because introductions eventually lead to first impressions and I suck at that even more. So, the sooner we get past this awkward beginning the better. It's like, the journey of a thousand miles begins with "Oh what the heck..." Something like that.